Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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