he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
