The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
