Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Farmville is her only friend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Actions speak louder than pants.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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