Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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