i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
