Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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