Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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