No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
