when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Every concussion has its silver lining
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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