Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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