i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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