So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
soo... how was my night?
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