sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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