that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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