to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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