I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
