I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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