Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
being pregnant is like rehab
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
