This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
