well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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