Quick, to the slutcave!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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