you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
