And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
