apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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