Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
