just come out here and I will go home with you...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
