You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
