Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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