they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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