i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
