I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
