Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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