a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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