Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
