I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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