she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
