why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You made out with two different species that night
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we're so committed to being not committed
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