So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
