Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
