PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
