Can i not drive my cunt home
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
