the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
