I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
