just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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