What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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