Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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