i can't believe i had my finger in that
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
