There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
