Having a random hookup so left but love u
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
