Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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