I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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