What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
