just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
