you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
