We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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