So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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