so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
