let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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