12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
