guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
