I'm so fucking centered right now
it hurts more in the daytime
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
