she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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