"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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