found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
