singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
