Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
