remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize
