trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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