We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
