I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
