I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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