i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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