windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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