youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize