i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
